Truth

“What do you think about channels, Patricia?” her words a secret code I felt and knew, between sisters of true nature and connection to Him.

I had been chewing on the concept weeks before we arrived in this holy place; uneasy and unsure of my truth, but when she asked me I saw the truth in the mirror of us – staring back at me with a fierce clarity that you can never wiggle yourself away from.

And, a part of me recognized the precision of this simple question from this incredible sister for what it was: the kind of remembering that I live for.

I took a deliberate pause to really relish in the moment of being worked by it; by her skill at seeing me and it, and in a delicious balance of her desire for me to name it so that we could both feel it together – as truth.

Just moments before, in front of the Mary-less place, I lost myself in tears as I witnessed her with the eye of my heart in her testimony of connection to Him. It was so beautiful that I asked her to pause for a moment so that we could witness her in this rare and exquisite feeling of the feminine, in true devotion, and absolute Love…the embodiment of all that had brought us to her and to this place. I could not hold back the tears that streamed and she touched my arm with recognition as the other dear ones looked on and felt the moment through us.

I will never forget this moment, Jesus was there in us; together.

An airy parade of small white feathers floated mid-air one-by-one as she spoke, from where I couldn’t see exactly but from above, from the very man-made stone carved nothing symbol above the entrance we were about to walk into.

I watched one lightly make its way to the cobbles below us and rest there for a moment.

She took her time with us; this angel of the mountain that God Himself put directly on our path the day before. This is what you do when you find each other on the path – you take your time with each other. And, we hung on every word she shared…every word she told us she had never told another group before this moment; they are her most cherished treasure, and we knew it as our hearts opened to each other.

I didn’t feel Mary there at all.

Despite witnessing many sisters I look up to flock to this very spot, I have never felt called to this place and so it was the very first time I was there. After a long time and many ancient words that have traveled lifetimes to meet each of us on this day, together, in this spot, with this angel…she guided us into the pew-filled space.

I opened myself despite what I had just received…becoming as porous as possible so that I could feel from the inside out, for myself and in my gnosis.

Nothing.

I felt the story that is not mine filling the space.

“I don’t trust them,” I finally answered with a pause.

“Yes…” she replied.

“I believe we are all channels actually, if we are open to receiving…” I continued, “…directly from the Source into us without the help of an outside “channel.”

“Yes, this is what I belief too Patricia,” she said in her perfect French-infused English.